littlemissmutant:

binghsien:

note-a-bear:

kaalashnikov:

cracked:

Dark Ages, Schmark Ages. The De-Textbook cuts through that and so much more fake-fact bullshit.

cloudy with a chance of witch burning

your periodic reminder that a good chunk of Europe basically shat the bed for a few centuries while everyone else kinda did their thing.

I am sorry I’m going to be that person.

This map is extremely inaccurate.

1) China was not going through business as usual China was going through the TANG DYNASTY i.e. the Golden Age of Chinese culture, which would lay down legal and social and poetic norms for the rest of Chinese history. The Tang is so influential that a lot of languages call Chinese people 唐人 (People from Tang.) (We call Chinese people “people from Qin” so.)

2) Japan is _first becoming literate_ during this time period (due to the influence of the Tang they adopt Chinese script), which is a BFD for poetry, religion, politics, society. Japanese court culture develops, which near the end of this period (11th century, around the time Europe enters “high middle ages”) will produce The Tale of Genji (by a totally awesome woman named Murasaki),widely regarded as the world’s first novel because of it’s deft use of irony and social commentary.

3) The southern part of Korea is experiencing the emergence of Unified Silla, a state that will last the entire period and will see the importation of Chinese and Indian buddhism, the construction of the first Confucian college in Korea, and so on.

4) In Mesoamerica, the Mayans are inventing astronomy, writing (the third and final independent invention of writing in human history), and a whole crapload of other stuff. This is the triumph of their culture.

5) The Umayyads in Spain are a massive center of technology, learning, and (comparative) religious toleration.

6) The Eastern Roman Empire, which spans both the green and yellow portions of your map, isn’t doing too badly either, bouncing back after losing territory to the Caliphate.

7) The Polynesians are colonizing the ENTIRE PACIFIC using amazing advanced navigation technology not rivaled until the INVENTION OF GPS.

8) I am not equipped to talk about Sub-Saharan Africa in detail (cue rant about how we never learn about subsaharan africa in the western educational system) but you can bet there are some major, amazing developments going on there too. I’d be shocked if there weren’t.

9) HOLY SHIT INDIA.

10) OMG SOUTH EAST ASIA. SOUTH. EAST. ASIA.

11) THEY WEREN’T BURNING WITCHES IN EUROPE DURING THE MIGRATION PERIOD (dark ages). Witch burning took off in the EARLY MODERN PERIOD, nearly 1000 years after this. Europe was going through some tough shit, which would leave them backwards compared to the rest of the world for 1000 years, but also there were some amazing things happening there, at least have the decency to be like “angry dudes with swords stabbing people” not WITCH BURNINGS FFS.

12) And ABSOLUTELY Islamic Caliphate was a totally amazing flowering of intellectual, artistic, and spiritual culture, a mixing pot between a thousand cultures and languages, and totally amazing. Don’t in any way want to diminish that in any way.

PLEASE ALWAYS BE THAT PERSON

nikktheconqueerer:

the skeleton war claims its first victim: a FUCKBOI

carrotcatmd:

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

bloodstiel:

queenquong:

bloodstiel:

what? johnlock? you mean John Locke, the 17th century English philosopher and Father of Classical Liberalism

*cries real tears* NO! johnlock is way more important!!

image

nonpenitent:

What I feel like when I’m on Tumblr

deckitout:

emifail:

this is literally how we play dnd

this isn’t even a joke

doctorgrump:

doctorgrump:

i just think its really cute because on cybertron they dont say “i love you” they say

image

which translates to “your spark is of pure light that brightens life and casts a shadow on fears” and i think that’s beautiful

image

transisted:

I’M LAUGHIGN SO FUCKNGIG HARD A THTIS HOLYG SHIT LOOK AT T HTIS THIS IS AMAZI GNG IT’S THE CAPTIONS THAT GE T ME

SADDLE YOUR DADS WE MOVE OUT AT DAWN

thepaisleywind:

assignedmale:

It means what you want it to mean.

This is such an important point.

lucyliunareclipse:

snorlaxatives:

damn….. ash is shredded as fuck

madcuteyo:

liftedandgiftedd:

njborn95:

so-boujie:

blue-eyed-hanji:

thelifeofnachos:

These shows taught me all about animals, science, math, geography, reading, grammar, kindness and friendship. 

This will always be golden 

aww yissss

I can feel the nostalgia ooze into my bloodstream

was Carmen Sandiego ever found

Wow I forgot about so many of these.

my fucking childhood!

Am i the only one who naturally read the titles in the jingle of their theme songs? Cept for zoooom

jabletown:

why do the teenage mutant ninja turtles wear eye masks? they’re fucking humanoid turtles. who the fuck is going to see them without the eye masks and be like, oh you’re probably some other sentient humanoid turtles not the ones that fight crime.

queering101:

shittycity:

Lesbians ruined flannels for me.

Homophobes ruined society for me.

image

autisticweasley:

coldaethyl:

necessary-sass:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

the-wayward-ship:

anjaseb:

wearetylerspeople:

supernaturally-marvelous:

twinkletwinklelittletardis:

ifell-through-theice:

marco-the-cutie:

allmysecretdaydreams:

How is this not the best thing? No period AND you get to be a guy for a week

I GET TO HAVE A DICK FOR A WEEK??? SIGN ME UP

*Presses the button like no tomorrow*

THINK OF THE COSPLAY OPPORTUNITIES

if someone asks me what the girls on tumblr are like, i’m showing them this post

What if it’s irregular. You just wake up as a guy like “oh look at that”

This would be ideal for trans guys.

Can you imagine your parents though. Like aimagine this isn’t normal and when you’re like 12 or 13 and your mom is telling you how your period should be starting soon and instead you just become a guy

I’d wait until my period starts to get a job. A week later the boss will be pissed when he realizes he offered a woman the same pay he offers men

DAMN

*MASHES THE FUCK OUT OF THAT BUTTON*

I FEEL SO CONFLICTED